


The Nice Guys Finish Last

by ChloShow



Category: The Nice Guys (2016)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drugs, Gen, Pre-Slash, Screenplay/Script Format, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 04:18:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7085434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloShow/pseuds/ChloShow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1981. A union negotiator assassination leads the Nice Guys to Detroit  where they try to put their first case to rest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nice Guys Finish Last

**Author's Note:**

> I pictured Amandla Stenberg as Audrey and either Anna Chlumsky or Kate McKinnon as Sarah.

INT. OFFICES - WORKDAY

 

Union negotiations.

The union leader, PERRY WASHBURNE, signs a contract and shakes the hand of the man sitting opposite him across the desk. A reporter takes a picture of the event.

SHOT: WASHBURNE stands in front of a window, and a bullet crashes through.

The bullet hits WASHBURNE square in the head, splattering reporters and negotiators with blood.

SHOT: The camera follows the bullet's trajectory out the window to an empty rooftop.

EXTERIOR SHOT: The camera pans out to show a framed shot of the office building.

 

           PRESENT:

INT. MARCH’S NEW HOUSE - MORNING

SHOT: A TV set shows a framed shot of the office building where the shooting occurred. This pans to MARCH's bedroom.

MARCH brushes his teeth, walking out of his on-suite bathroom in his boxers and undershirt to catch the news.

INT. HEALY'S APT – SAME TIME

The apartment has barely changed in the last 3 and a half years except for the new fish and calendar.

HEALY's already awake when the phone rings; he wakes at the same time every day.

               HEALY

       (answering the phone)

   Hello?

               MARCH

   Are you watching the news?

               HEALY

   Which news?

               MARCH

       (toothbrush hanging out of his mouth)

   I think it's the same news on each channel.

               HEALY

   The union negotiator who got shot.

               MARCH

       (brushing his teeth and spitting)

   Exactly. You know what I'm thinking?

               HEALY

   That you're going to finish brushing your teeth before you talk to me?

               MARCH

       (rinsing out his mouth and spitting one last time)

   Ha-ha. So you think we can make it to Detroit by tonight?

                HEALY

   Michigan is clear across the country.

               MARCH

       (getting dressed)

   Are you sure? I thought the Great Lakes were like straight up from Arizona.

               HEALY

   This is about the Amelia case isn't it?

MARCH retrieves his shoes from his closet, and a paper from 77' with the headline, "JUSTICE DEPARTMENT DAUGHTER DEAD," staring up at him.

               MARCH

       (closing the closet)

   We finally have a fucking lead. Look! It was an _automobile union_ negotiation for chrissakes.

               HEALY

       (wiping his brow)

   I'll call about flight times.

               MARCH

       (about to hang up)

   Okay, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, Holly. I forgot.

               HEALY

   What about Holly?

SHOT: MARCH looks around the corner to see HOLLY eating cereal at the counter.

               MARCH

   It's the first day of summer. We were supposed to do father/daughter things. I know, I know. I'll figure something out.

MARCH hangs up and walks into the kitchen.

CUT to: The clear blue sky.

"Trying Not To Think About It" by the J. Geils band plays.

SHOT: A plane takes off.

INT. AIRPLANE – AFTERNOON

HOLLY and her friend, AUDREY, sit together. AUDREY gets the window seat because she's never flown before.

Behind the girls sit MARCH and HEALY. MARCH sits in the aisle seat because he gets sick on planes.

HEALY flips through some magazines in his seat back.

MARCH lights a cigarette and orders a drink from the hostess.

               AUDREY

       (to HOLLY)

   Why are we going to Michigan first? Shouldn't we start in New York?

               HEALY

   There's nothing good in New York, sweetheart. Trust me.

               HOLLY

 I don't know why Michigan _specifically_ , but apparently the East Coast sucks.

               MARCH

   Hurricanes.

               HOLLY

   And so does the South.

               MARCH

   Racism.

               AUDREY

       (to MARCH)

   Thanks again for letting me tag along, Mr. March. I've never been on a vacation like this, so I really appreciate it.

               MARCH

   Don't mention it. It was the only way Holly would agree to do a surprise cross country college tour road-trip.

HOLLY is overjoyed to have AUDREY with her.

               HOLLY

       (to AUDREY but loud enough for her dad to hear)

   I'm just glad he's finally accepting that I'm going to college next year.

SHOT: The girls giggle excitedly.

               MARCH

   Doesn't have to be next year. You can always take a year off. Or 2.

               HEALY

   March.

               MARCH

   She listens to you. Why don't you say something, huh, Garfield?

               HEALY

   President Garfield?

               MARCH

   No, the fucking cartoon cat. God, you're so old.

HEALY doesn't say anything, continuing to flip through magazines.

-

INT. RENTAL VEHICLE - EVENING

-

Car doors close, and the group sets off.

MARCH wrangles a map, smoking all the while. 

"Boogie Shoes" by K. C. & The Sunshine Gang plays over the radio.

               HOLLY

   How long until we get to a hotel?

               MARCH

   Motel, sweetie. And about an hour I think.

              AUDREY

   I can't believe Michigan is actually green. I just assumed anything north of Colorado was tundra. I wonder what Canada's like.

               HOLLY

   We can always take a trip across the border, right dad?

               MARCH

   We're staying in the U.S.

               HEALY

   Canada's actually very beautiful.

               MARCH

   When'd you go to Canada?

               HEALY

   Honeymoon at Niagara Falls. The only good part of that marriage. 

                HOLLY

   Dad, when I move out, which is happening whether you accept it or not, I've been thinking, you should really get a roommate.

 MARCH turns up the radio to drown out the conversation. HEALY turns it back down.

               HOLLY

   My room will be vacant, and you'll have the whole house to yourself, which is scary to think about.

HEALY laughs.

               HOLLY

   That's why I think Mr. Healy should move in.

HEALY is no longer amused and turns up the radio. MARCH sputters, dropping his cigarette on to the map and signaling HEALY to pull over.

SHOT: MARCH stamps out a small fire on his map of Michigan.

MARCH re-enters the vehicle, and they drive off.

               MARCH

       (off screen)

   Are you happy now, Holly? You burned Kalamazoo right off the map.

EXT. MOTEL - NIGHT

EXTERIOR SHOT: The Christmas Motel greets them as they pull into the parking lot.

               MARCH

   You girls wait in the car while I get us checked in okay?

MARCH leaves the car, walking to the front desk.

               AUDREY

       (to HOLLY)

   Not to be rude, but why is Mr. Healy traveling with us?

               HOLLY

   He and my dad are friends.

               AUDREY

   Ohhhhhhhhh.

               HEALY

   Your dad just needed someone to help him drive across the country. That's all.

               AUDREY

   No, it's okay. I understand.

               HEALY

   There's nothing to understand.

INT. MOTEL FRONT DESK – NIGHT

MARCH lights up, waiting to check in at the front desk.

               RECEPTIONIST

   May I help you?

               MARCH

   Yeah, uh, one room please. 2 queens.

               RECEPTIONIST

   How many nights will you be staying?

               MARCH

       (looking out the window to the car)

   Three nights.

               RECEPTIONIST

   That'll be $36, and just so you know, check out is the noon after your third night.

The RECEPTIONIST moves very slowly. MARCH looks around himself and pulls a flask out of his pocket. The RECEPTIONIST returns while he's swigging.

               RECEPTIONIST

   You'll be in room 15.

               MARCH

       (surprised by the RECEPTIONIST and half choking)

 Thank you. Gah, thank you, have a good night.

MARCH pays and exits.

The RECEPTIONIST stares at him; they don't get many people from LA up here in Lansing, MI.

MARCH returns.

               MARCH

   Do you happen to know where the nearest ATM is?

INT. RENTAL VEHICLE - NIGHT

MARCH re-enters the car and dangles the room key behind him; HOLLY takes it.

               HOLLY

   Finally.

               MARCH

   We'll be right back. We're going to a bar down the road, so don't get mine or Mr. Healy's luggage out, okay?

               HOLLY

   Wasn't gonna.

Exit HOLLY.

AUDREY gathers her carry on from the floor of the backseat. MARCH has a cigarette hanging out of his mouth per usual.

               MARCH

       (taking out an envelope)

   Ah, Audrey, this is for you and Holly just in case you want to have a girls' day after the college tour, or whatever you two do. But tell Holly she _has_ to go on the tour, okay?

               AUDREY

   I can't make her do anything she doesn't want to.

               MARCH

   Do you want the money?

AUDREY takes the money without another word

               MARCH

   Uh-huh, that's what I thought.

AUDREY retrieves her bags from the back and shuts the trunk.

               HEALY

   To Detroit?

               MARCH

   To Detroit!

HEALY reconsiders.

               HEALY

   Maybe you should drive. I didn't bring my bifocals.

INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

AUDREY enters and lies on one of the queen beds, while HOLLY brushes her teeth and gets ready for bed.

               AUDREY

   Your dad and his friend are acting really weird.

               HOLLY

       (spitting)

   Not any weirder than usual.

               AUDREY

      (walking into the bathroom)

   He just gave me this envelope full of money and said to have a "girls' day."

HOLLY wipes her mouth before continuing.

SHOT: From the perspective of the money, HOLLY flips through the bills.

               HOLLY

   There has to be $250 in here. That cheapskate. If he really wanted to bribe me, he'd give us _at least_ $400.

               AUDREY

   He only gave this to me on the condition you actually do the tour. Is he not coming with us?

              HOLLY

   You remember how he slept through my recital?

               AUDREY

   Gotcha.

INT. RENTAL VEHICLE – NIGHT

MARCH drives.

               MARCH

   You sure we should leave her? If she finds out we ditched her to solve this union case, she'll be pissed.

               HEALY

       (holds the steering wheel while MARCH re-lights his cigarette)

   We need to try this out on our own. There's no sense in keeping The Nice Guys running if we can't solve a case without her.

             MARCH

       (grabbing the wheel)

   Thanks. Eh, I think you should give us more credit. We did that--that county fair case without her, no problem. 

           FLASHBACK:

- 

EXT. COUNTRY FAIR - NIGHT

-

HEALY throws fryer oil at his assailant. MARCH stuffs funnel cake into a man's face.

Various screams punctuate the chaos of the scene.

 -

INT. RENTAL VEHICLE – NIGHT

 -

               HEALY

   If I remember correctly, you lost a toe that night. 

               MARCH

 _Part_ of a toe. I can still walk alright.

               HEALY

   Whose idea was it not to bring weapons?

               MARCH

   We had the night off! At the fucking fair! I didn't think we needed guns.

               HEALY

   Sorry, I promised never to bring that up.

               MARCH

   You did! Fucking liar.

"Never Been Any Reason" by Head East starts.

SHOT: Road sign conveys how many miles they have until Detroit.

-

INT. RENTAL VEHICLE – MORNING

-

SHOT: Detroit skyline.

SHOT: MARCH exits the Detroit motel room, refreshed and ready for the day.

HEALY reads a paper in the front seat as MARCH drops into the passenger seat, drumming the dashboard.

               MARCH

   Any leads?

               HEALY

       (folding the paper, setting it aside)

   There's a couple union members who were present at the shooting, so we can start there.

               MARCH

   Interviews.

       (unenthused and sipping coffee)

   Can't wait.

           MONTAGE:

 

SHOT: MARCH knocks on a door, and a woman answers.

               MARCH

   Yes, you must be Bailey Eckenroad?

SHOT: MARCH speaks at a different door with HEALY smiling politely at his side.

               MARCH

   We're private investigators looking into the Perry Washburne murder.

SHOT: MARCH speaks at a different door.

               MARCH

   If we could ask you some questions about the case, we'd really appreciate--

Each person slams the door in MARCH's face.

INT. MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY - MORNING 

SHOT: Exterior of the school.

SHOT: Holly yawns at the back of a huge auditorium seating hundreds.

Somebody's snoring.

               MAN AT LECTERN

       (droning)

   For those of you prospective students who are eagerly awaiting the details of our sports programs--

AUDREY taps HOLLY before she falls asleep and nods with her head to the exit.

The two girls exit the auditorium.

INT. MOTEL ROOM - MORNING

HOLLY breaks out a pack of cigarettes and hands one to AUDREY. HOLLY turns on the TV set, flipping through the channels.

SHOT: Each girl sits on her own bed, bored out of their minds.

               HOLLY

   I tried. I really did. They didn't even give us half-decent coffee.

               AUDREY

       (taking a light from HOLLY)

   Why would you want to go here? This city sucks.

               HOLLY

   You can say that again.

               AUDREY

       (loudly)

   This city sucks!

This amuses HOLLY, but a news channel catches her attention.

               HOLLY

   Son of a bitch.

               AUDREY

   Hm?

The TV channel details the assassination case.

               NEWSCASTER

   The second day of a union negotiation gone wrong and still no leads as to which side is at fault.

HOLLY concentrates completely on the screen.

SHOT: B-roll of protesters in the streets of Detroit.

               NEWSCASTER

   Auto manufacturer, Mason Blackwell, refuses to comment on the assassination, but union protesters are not short on theories.

               PROTESTER #1

   I know for a fact they had Perry Washburne shot. F-A-C-T.

               PROTESTER #2

   Perry was on the uptake, and I guess Blackwell got tired of paying him.

              NEWSCASTER

   That's all for now, but stay--

               HOLLY

   I know why we're here.

INT. DANIEL WASHBURNE’S HOUSE - MORNING

The phone rings, and a meek, paranoid redheaded man picks up the phone reluctantly.

               DANIEL

   If this is another reporter, I don't want an interview.

SHOT: HOLLY has the phonebook open on her knee while AUDREY flips channels.

               HOLLY

   This is Holly March from The Nice Guys Agency. You're Daniel Washburne correct?

               DANIEL

   Yeah, but like I said--

               HOLLY

   I can assure you I am not a reporter. I'm from a private detective firm based in Los Angeles, and I've flown out to Detroit to offer my services.

               DANIEL

   I'm sorry, lady. You sound nice, but I don't want to stick my nose anywhere it don't belong.

               HOLLY

   Just an interview then? I worked on the Misty Mountains case in 77'. We didn't get a conviction but we uncovered the truth. Isn't that what justice is really about?

               DANIEL

   Okay, just an interview. No cameras.

               HOLLY

   I can be there by noon.

SHOT: HOLLY hangs up the phone.

EXT. DANIEL'S HOUSE - AFTERNOON

SHOT: We hear a knock on the inside of DANIEL's front door.

The door opens to reveal HEALY and MARCH standing on the porch.

A tall, brown-haired man peaks out the opened the door on the chain lock.

               MAN

   Yes?

               MARCH

   Ah, is this Daniel Washburne?

               DANIEL

   Who's asking?

               MARCH

       (delivering his spiel)

   We are The Nice Guys, a private investigation agency here to help you solve your father's murder.

The door closes, and MARCH almost walks away until the door opens to reveal DANIEL. MARCH is pleasantly surprised.

DANIEL closes the door behind him, leaning back with his arms crossed. He's dull and deadpan.

               DANIEL

   Whaddya wanna know?

                HEALY

   Did your father have any enemies?

               DANIEL

   Sure, he was the head of a union. 'Course the guy had enemies.

               MARCH

   Can you be more specific?

              DANIEL

   I can't give you any specifics about enemies per se, but he had this best friend he told everything. Uh, Roy something. I know where he lives if that could help.

               MARCH

       (trying to contain his excitement)

   Yes! Yes, that would be incredible.

MARCH looks for a notepad and pen in his pocket. HEALY pulls out a notepad from his own pocket and hands it to MARCH who in turn hands it to DANIEL.

               HEALY

   Condolences, by the way. I don't know the relationship you had with your father, but of all the ways to go...

       (he tries to handwave the rest of the sentence)

   ...it was--

               MARCH

   --pretty shitty.

               HEALY

       (struck at MARCH's lack of grace)

   Pretty shitty.

                DANIEL

       (handing the notebook and pen back)

   Thanks guys.

               MARCH

   And about our fee.

               HEALY

       (reprimanding)

   March.

               MARCH

   Have a good day, sir.

MARCH and HEALY walk back to the car as DANIEL re-enters his house.

INT. APT COMPLEX – MIDDAY

EXTERIOR SHOT: The rental vehicle pulls up to the curb.

SHOT: The address DANIEL wrote down in the notebook.

SHOT: MARCH and HEALY stand outside Apartment 211.

              MARCH

       (reaching above the doorframe)

   There's got to be a spare key somewhere.

HEALY tries the doorknob, and the door's unlocked. MARCH shrugs.

INT. APT 211 - MIDDAY 

SHOT: Opening the door trips a mechanism that turns on the stove's gas.

The apartment is ugly. A man sits in a recliner in front of a TV set on low volume.

               MARCH

   Oh, sorry, sir, your door was unlocked, and we're investigating a shooting--

MARCH rounds the corner and finds that the man is dead, shot in the head. He shrieks.

HEALY follows the bullet's trajectory to the window, finding a bullet hole as well as a woman hopping down the fire escape.

               MARCH

       (investigating anywhere except the body)

   Did you find something?

               HEALY

   Someone shot through that window while this guy was enjoying a Bud, but--

       (feeling the body)

   --that was a while ago. The body's cold, and the blood isn't fresh. Doesn't make sense.

              MARCH

   Makes perfect sense.

               HEALY

   There was someone at the window just now I thought may have been the shooter, but that can't be--

       (sniffing the air)

   --do you smell that?

               MARCH

   I can't smell anything, remember?

HEALY realizes they've set foot in a trap.

SHOT: The timing mechanism has almost run down to ignite the fumes.

               HEALY

   March, we have to leave. Now.

               MARCH

   Now? There's still a shit ton left to do here.

HEALY drags MARCH out of the apartment, slamming the door.

               MARCH

   What the fuck--

               HEALY

   It's a trap.

As HEALY finds them a safe corner about 10 ft away from the apartment, the door explodes, flinging debris everywhere.

MARCH slides down the wall to the floor.

               HEALY

   It was the gas. We must've tripped something when we opened the door.

               MARCH

       (deflated, dissociating, what-have-you)

   I'm done.

               HEALY

   What?

               MARCH

   I'm done. I'm retired. And I'm celebrating my retirement with a drink.

MARCH takes the elevator, closing it before HEALY boards.

SHOT: MARCH's eyes are dead, and his hands light a cigarette robotically.

INT. BAR - AFTERNOON

Enter HEALY. MARCH sits alone at the bar with a couple of empty glasses in front of him already despite the fact HEALY only lost him for 10 minutes.

               MARCH

   Join the party.

               HEALY

       (accusatory)

   What's wrong with you? We're in the middle of a case. You can't just give up.

               MARCH

       (raising a glass to his lips)

   I'm retired.

               HEALY

   Stop saying that.

               MARCH

   I'm retired. I'm retired. I'm retired. I'm retired.

HEALY takes his drink and tosses it in his face.

               MARCH

   Thank you.

               HEALY

   What is this all about?

              MARCH

   The fire was my fault.

               HEALY

   It was nobody's fault. The place was rigged before we even got there.

               MARCH

       (trying to explain)

   No, the fire. _My_ fire. I couldn't smell the gas, and I went to light a cigarette, then _whoosh._

This shuts HEALY up.

               MARCH

       (pathetic tears)

   I killed my wife.

               HEALY

       (trying to get through to him)

   March. March. Holland.

The bartender stares.

               HEALY

       (to the BARTENDER)

   He's fine.

               MARCH

       (crying and whining real high)

   I killed my wife.

               HEALY

   Alright. Let's go.

HEALY guides MARCH off his barstool to the exit.

EXT. BAR – AFTERNOON

HEALY attempts to guide MARCH to the passenger side of the rental vehicle, but MARCH is too consumed with grief.

               MARCH

   I'm a bad person.

               HEALY

   You're not that bad of a person.

                MARCH

   Holly said so.

MARCH sobs into HEALY's leather jacket. HEALY's embarrassed, patting MARCH's back and forcing a smile at strangers walking past.

               HEALY

   Holly's not always right.

               MARCH

 Yes, she is!

               HEALY

   Okay, fine, we can go back to the motel, and you can call Holly, and she'll tell you you're just as bad a person as me.

               MARCH

       (sobbing)

   Okay.

               HEALY

   Will that help?

               MARCH

   No.

HEALY loads MARCH into the backseat of the car. MARCH curls up across the seats.

INT. RENTAL VEHICLE – AFTERNOON

MARCH groans, putting his sunglasses on.

SHOT: Protesters line the block and disrupt traffic.

               HEALY

   Damn kids.

               MARCH

       (looking up and out the window)

   What are they protesting now?

               HEALY

       (reading signs)

   It's still about the union negotiations.

SHOT: A blonde teen about 5'7" stands amongst the marching protestors.

               MARCH

   Holly.

               HEALY

   Yes, we'll call Holly.

               MARCH

   No, pull over. She's out there.

               HEALY

   That's ridiculous. She's at MSU. March!

MARCH gets out of the car while HEALY's stopped in traffic.

EXT. SIDEWALK – AFTERNOON

Various protestors chant and walk in a circle with their signs.

HOLLY spots her father and grimaces.

               HOLLY

 Dad, I can explain.

               MARCH

       (hugging her)

   I am so glad you're here. You have no idea...we thought we could do this without you, and we can't.

               HOLLY

       (breaking the hug)

   Wait, is that what this trip was about?

               MARCH

   We can talk about that later.

               HOLLY

   No, you listen.

   I can't babysit you forever. I have my own life, and I'm not going to spend it drinking myself to death. I'm sad mom's gone, but life doesn't stop. I'm sorry if that's hard to hear, but it's the truth.

               MARCH

       (hiding behind his sunglasses)

   No, you're right. I'm, uh, I left Mr. Healy parked in traffic. If you want, I mean, if it's not a pain in the ass, you could join our investigation.

               HOLLY

       (smiling)

   That's why I'm here. Figured this case was too big for you.

SHOT: MARCH and HOLLY find HEALY's vehicle.

INT. RENTAL VEHICLE - AFTERNOON

MARCH sits upfront, and HOLLY sits in the backseat, leaning up front to share her intel.

               HEALY

   Hey, Holly, a sight for sore eyes. Where's Audrey?

               HOLLY

   Back at MSU with the other half of dad's $250.

               MARCH

 I've never been more glad you can't take a bribe.

               HEALY

       (to HOLLY)

   What have you been up to?

               HOLLY

   Well, I visited Daniel Washburne about 3 hours ago, and he told me his dad was really paranoid and kept records of everything. I even convinced him to pay our "discounted rate" of $450. I tried going by Perry Washburne's apartment, but there was someone in there and I didn't have a gun so I figured if I stood out there with the protestors long enough, I'd find you guys.

MARCH and HEALY are impressed.

               MARCH

   Good job, sweetheart. You're just like your mom: Tenacious.

               HEALY

   You said Daniel told you about his dad?

               HOLLY

   Yeah, he said he didn't trust the cops because they were probably in on it, but he trusted me.

               MARCH

   Did he mention Washburne's friend, Roy?

               HOLLY

   Um, no, just the records and that his dad had been acting weird.

               HEALY

       (suspicious)

   What did Daniel look like?

               HOLLY

   Medium height. 20s. Red hair. Glasses. Probably does coke.

               MARCH

       (to HEALY)

   That's not Daniel.

               HEALY

   No, I think that's the real Daniel.

EXT. DANIEL’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON

MARCH knocks on the front door. When no one answers, the trio finds their way to the back of the house. MARCH prepares to break a windowpane until HEALY stops him.

HOLLY picks up a rock from the garden and throws it through the living room window, opening it and crawling through. HEALY wipes her fingerprints from the windowsill and places the rock back in the garden. MARCH takes care not to touch anything.

INT. DANIEL’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON

HOLLY and HEALY wrinkle their noses. Something's dead.

               HEALY

   Doesn't look like anyone's home.

       (picking up a picture with a handkerchief)

   Is that Daniel?

HOLLY nods.

MARCH walks into the bathroom and promptly exits.

HEALY motions for HOLLY to stay in the living room.

               MARCH

       (to himself)

   Is this what the 80s are gonna be like? Jesus fuck I miss the 70s.

The bathtub features a dead DANIEL with his throat slit. HOLLY enters the bathroom behind HEALY.

              HOLLY

   That's him.

               HEALY

   And you talked to him this morning?

               HOLLY

       (breathlessly)

   Yeah.

               MARCH

       (to himself)

   The 70s had some surprises, sure, but there was something predictable about it.

               HEALY

       (walking back into the living room)

   March, we must've interrupted the guy in the middle of killing this poor bastard.

HOLLY closes DANIEL's eyes and exits the bathroom.

MARCH is struck with inspiration.

               MARCH

   Wait, just a second...

SHOT: Someone has tampered with the mechanism to turn on the pilot.

               MARCH

       (to himself)

   It's the same guy.

       (to HEALY)

   The other Daniel who killed the real Daniel sent us to that apartment because he knew it would explode. He was trying to get rid of us.

               HOLLY

   We should un-do whatever this guy did here.

               MARCH

       (fiddles with the stove)

   Yeah.

               HEALY

       (taking over)

   Not you.

               MARCH

   Right.

INT. RENTAL  VEHICLE - AFTERNOON

HOLLY's slumped in the backseat, looking out the window.

               MARCH

       (noticing HOLLY's mood)

   Hey, you wanna get some lunch? I could really go for a burger and a shake myself.

               HOLLY

       (distant)

   No, we have work to do.

               HEALY

   Where to next then?

               HOLLY

   If you're right, then not-Daniel must've been at Perry Washburne's place this morning, which means that's where we need to be.

EXTERIOR SHOT: Traffic.

EXT. ALLEY BEHIND WASHBURNE APT - AFTERNOON

SHOT: The trio exits the vehicle.

HEALY's aware of the effect Daniel's body had on HOLLY.

               HEALY

       (to HOLLY)

   Maybe you should stand guard, warn us if anyone's coming.

               HOLLY

       (agreeing)

   Thanks.

INT. WASHBURNE APT - AFTERNOON

HOLLY sits a level below the apartment keeping watch.

SHOT: MARCH finds the window has been pried open.

SHOT: SARAH VOGELWEH, skeezy reporter extraordinaire, pops the telephone recorder open and places the cassette in her camera bag.

               MARCH

       (at SARAH)

   Hey!

MARCH slips through the window and to the floor. HEALY steps through with some dignity.

               MARCH

   Who the fuck are you?

               SARAH

   I'm a reporter.

               MARCH

   Well that explains everything and nothing.

               SARAH

   I'm Sarah Vogelweh. I work at the Detroit Star.

HEALY rounds the desk toward SARAH. MARCH stays by the window.

               HEALY

   Sounds like a prestigious piece of written media. Did the Star give you a pass for breaking and entering and obstructing justice?

               SARAH

       (incredulous)

   You two are cops?

               MARCH

   We're PIs.

HEALY glares at MARCH.

               MARCH

   Oh, you were bluffing.

       (to SARAH)

   Is it too late for you to believe we're cops?

               SARAH

   Listen, this tape is my ticket out of the rag mags straight to the big time.

               MARCH

   It won't matter who you sell it to. They'll just suppress the story. You know who controls the papers here?

               SARAH

   Who?

               MARCH

   I don't know exactly. It was a hypothetical question.

               HEALY

   The point is, we have people we trust that can make sure this tape falls into the right hands.

               SARAH

   Yeah, I hope they pay well, or else I'm not interested.

               MARCH

       (German accent)

   Yah, I em Sarah Vogelweh, and I'm und traitor to mein country--

               HEALY

   Actually, in German I think it would be Fogelveh. The Vs and Ws are different.

               MARCH

   Thank you for helping me understand the intricacies of the German language, but it's neither here nor there.

               HEALY

   But, for future reference, when you do your Hitler impersonation, which is much too often by the way--

               MARCH

   Whoa, where is this coming from?

               SARAH

       (attempting to leave WASHBURNE's study)

   Stop! Stop. I could not care less about this. Just get the fuck out of my way.

               MARCH

   Hold up. You can't go through the front door.

               SARAH

   Watch me.

               MARCH

   No, he's right. Someone rigged the door to trigger an explosion that will most definitely kill you.

SARAH rolls her eyes and walks back into the office, climbing out the window.

               MARCH

   Yes, the window's a much smarter idea-Ahhhhh!

SHOT: SARAH slips out the window with the tape in her satchel, scaling the fire escape. MARCH rushes to the window.

               MARCH

       (to HOLLY)

   Holly, stop her!

               HOLLY

   With what?

               MARCH

 I don't know. You're smart--

       (to himself)

   --you know what...

MARCH looks for a heavy-ish object. He prepares to toss a paperweight out the window when HEALY shakes his head.

               HEALY

   What are you doing? You'll kill her.

               MARCH

       (sighing)

   You're right. Maybe we can make it look like an accident though.

SHOT: Footsteps from the living room; someone's been hiding.

SHOT: A familiar face struts into the study's doorway.

              JOHN BOY

   Don't worry. I'm not here to kill you.

               MARCH

   The door! The bomb!

HEALY trains his gun on JOHN BOY.

               JOHN BOY

   Who do you think set the trap in the first place?

MARCH struggles to free his own weapon. JOHN BOY raises his arms in surrender.

               MARCH

       (honestly shocked)

   That other guy. The guy who killed Daniel and the man in Apartment 211.

               JOHN BOY

   Oh, you're confused. _That_ guy killed them; I set up the demolitions.

               HEALY

       (sarcastic)

   Thanks for clarifying.

CUT: HOLLY encounters SARAH on the fire escape. HOLLY blocks the way.

               HOLLY

   We need that tape to uncover the corruption of the Detroit auto industry. Don't you want to be a part of that?

               SARAH

   Sweetie, I want to be part of the pay off.

               HOLLY

       (grabbing at the bag)

   Don't call me 'sweetie.'

SARAH pulls a punch. HOLLY counters, giving SARAH a bloody nose. HOLLY pulls at the satchel strap, inciting a tug of war.

When she sees she can't win, SARAH lets go and HOLLY falls backward and hits her head against the railing, incapacitating her.

CUT: Back to JOHN BOY.

               HEALY

   What are you doing here?

               JOHN BOY

   Heard the boys were back in town, so I stopped by for some last goodbyes. Don't get too weepy on me.

CUT: HOLLY's vision is blurry; she hears SARAH leave. Something catches HOLLY's eye. A glint of a scope from across the alleyway illuminates a sniper through a windowsill. She rushes up to the apartment as quick as she can.

CUT: HEALY walks JOHN BOY straightforward out into the open living room, interrogating him all the way.

               HEALY

   You really think you have the upper hand here?

               JOHN BOY

   I understand things may have gone south last time we saw each other.

               HEALY

   You killed Amelia.

               MARCH

   You threw Janet out the window! AND YOU KILLED AMELIA. Fuck you!

               HEALY

       (out of the corner of his mouth)

   It was Jessica.

               MARCH

   Who the fuck cares?

               JOHN BOY

   We're in the same boat, guys.

   Used to be hired guns were safe as long as they did the job, but we've been picked off like flies as of late. I planned to skip town, but I figured you clowns could throw them off my trail until I disappeared completely.

HOLLY crawls through the window.

               HOLLY

   Duck!

MARCH and HEALY notice the red dot on JOHN BOY's heart, and JOHN BOY moves out of the way just in time.

SHOT: A bullet crashes into a picture from across the room in the place JOHN BOY was standing.

The door bursts open, revealing a second gunman.

               MARCH

   Fuck!

MARCH rolls behind a couch, and HEALY ducks back into the office.

JOHN BOY hides behind the open door and takes the intruder by surprise, snapping the man's neck.

HOLLY lowers the study's blinds and shuts them, entering the living room.

               JOHN BOY

   You gotta stop saving my life kid.

               MARCH

   Holly, are you okay?

               HOLLY

       (rubbing her head)

   Yeah, sure.

       (to MARCH about JOHN BOY)

   Where the fuck did he come from?

               MARCH

   He just waltzed in.

               JOHN BOY

       (to MARCH)

   You're so dramatic.

       (to the room)

   We need to go.

               HEALY

   We're not following you. Like you said, they're after you.

               JOHN BOY

   You must not be the brains of the operation. If you want to solve this guy's murder, I'm the only one who has the info you need.

       (tapping his head)

MARCH and HEALY shrug at each other.

SHOT: HOLLY shoots an unenthused look at JOHN BOY, who returns the look with a smile.

               MARCH

       (to HEALY)

   He has a point.

SHOT: The four of them run down the staircase and exit through a back door.

SHOT: A driver picks up the rooftop gunman, and they pursue their targets.

SHOT: SARAH watches the gunman's vehicle peel out, secures her satchel, and puts on her motorcycle helmet, starting her bike, and following the gunmen at a safe distance.

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY – AFTERNOON

EXTERIOR SHOT: Fresh graffiti paints the factory's facade.

JOHN BOY walks through the building, knowing exactly where he's going.

                JOHN BOY

   It's hard to access this place by vehicle, so we might have 5-10 minutes on them tops.

JOHN BOY opens a steel box, removing and loading many weapons.

               MARCH

   Are these to share?

JOHN BOY hands HOLLY a pistol. HEALY sets to work inspecting the guns.

               JOHN BOY

   You know how to use a gun?

               HOLLY

   Of course.

               JOHN BOY

       (withholding the gun)

   Are you willing to fire? Last time I remember you were some sort of pacifist.

               HOLLY

   It's not my first line of approach, but if I have to...

               JOHN BOY

       (to HEALY and MARCH)

   I'll take the roof. You split up the floors however you like.

JOHN BOY heads to the roof.

               HEALY

   Holly, you find somewhere safe to hide on the second floor and stay there.

               HOLLY

   That's not fair--you guys are on the offensive, and I have to hide?

               HEALY

   I know you were lying. You and your dad have the same tell.

               MARCH

   That's why I don't lie.

               HEALY

   I'll take ground floor. March, you take second floor, protect Holly.

MARCH and HOLLY run off to the stairs. HEALY looks for the best place to attack.

EXT. ABANDONED FACTORY – AFTERNOON

SHOT: JOHN BOY sets up on the rooftop.

SHOT: Through a sniper scope, we see a motorcycle approaching.

JOHN BOY doesn't know who this is, but when the cyclist gets off her bike and unzips her bag, she only removes a camera. JOHN BOY rolls his eyes.

               JOHN BOY

   Reporters...

The gunman's car approaches the factory, stopping as close to the entrance as possible while JOHN BOY hits the car with his rifle.

SHOT: SARAH ducks beneath a pile of debris and tires, keeping her helmet on and advancing her film.

One gunman enters through the front, the other edges around the back of the building under protection of an overhang.

SARAH clicks a few shots, looks into the gunmen's car for evidence, but when she sees nothing, she debates with herself whether or not to go inside. Deciding that she needs more gore shots, she enters the building around the back.

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY FLOOR 2 – AFTERNOON

HOLLY hides in an abandoned office closet. MARCH hyperventilates a little, reaching into his pocket for a snuffbox of coke and inhaling.

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY FLOOR 1 – AFTERNOON

HEALY fires at the first gunman from behind a concrete pillar, hitting the man's shoulder. The man is the imposter DANIEL from earlier.

SHOT: The gunman braces himself against a pillar, situates a gas mask over his face, and tosses a couple cans of tear gas into the open.

HEALY sputters, covering his mouth with a handkerchief and squinting. HEALY moves behind the next pillar in the row, coughing slightly and holding his breath.

SHOT: The gunman moves upstairs despite HEALY's attempts.

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY FLOOR 2 – AFTERNOON

Two gunmen enter the second floor, and MARCH is scared shitless.

                MARCH

       (whispering)

   Shit.

               HOLLY

   What is it?

               MARCH

   Shhhh.

SHOT: JOHN BOY angles a shot from the stairwell, but he hears a _c_ _lick_ from his left. Instinct tells him to shoot, and a bullet hits SARAH square in the helmet.

This alerts the gunmen to JOHN BOY's position, so he comes out swinging at one of the gunmen.

MARCH attempts to incapacitate the second gunman passing the office doorway, shooting his foot and then ploughing him into a stack of debris.

EXT. ABANDONED FACTORY - AFTERNOON

HEALY exits the building, face incredibly red, catching sight of the unfamiliar motorcycle.

A car door closes, and HEALY sits in the gunmen's car with SARAH's satchel, intent on hot-wiring the vehicle.

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY FLOOR 2 - AFTERNOON

JOHN BOY grapples with the gunman in the stairwell. SARAH's disoriented. She reaches for her camera, but someone fires a shot into it, leading her to recoil and scream.

MARCH fights the second gunman, but the gunman is in much better shape. The gunman knocks MARCH out, standing to deliver the final shot when HOLLY distracts him.

               HOLLY

   Hey jackass!

The gunman turns around, and HOLLY shoots him in the hand, forcing him to drop his gun and scream.

EXT. ABANDONED FACTORY - AFTERNOON

SARAH runs out of the building to her motorcycle without her camera, but she discovers her bag is missing and looks to the running car where HEALY waves.

INT. ABANDONED FACTORY FLOOR 2 - AFTERNOON

JOHN BOY gains the upper hand and shoots his assailant in the head.

The second gunman swings at HOLLY, and she dodges. MARCH wakes up and shoots the gunman in the calf, dragging the man to his knees.

The man turns around to assault MARCH, but HOLLY shoots the gunman's raised fist.

JOHN BOY finishes the guy from a distance. Imposter DANIEL is finally dead.

HOLLY scowls.

               JOHN BOY

   That was just miserable to watch.

               HOLLY

   You didn't have to kill him.

               JOHN BOY

   Trust me, he was dead anyway.

MARCH groans.

               MARCH

   You okay?

               HOLLY

   I'm fine. You're not though.

               MARCH

       (looking around disoriented)

   Where's Healy?

EXT. ABANDONED FACTORY - AFTERNOON

HEALY honks the car's horn, while SARAH bangs against the windows, cursing up a storm.

               SARAH

   Give me my fucking bag you goddamn son of a bitch fucking fuckface bastard.

MARCH and HOLLY approach the car, and JOHN BOY branches out offscreen.

               HEALY

   She won't leave without her bag.

               SARAH

   That's damn right.

               MARCH

   Whether you like it or not, we're taking this bag back to California to my good friend Johnny Law.

SHOT: JOHN BOY revs the motorcycles engine and peels out of the lot.

This distracts SARAH who runs after the bike half-heartedly.

MARCH and HOLLY get into the car, while MARCH gets into the passenger seat and makes a show of locking the car door. MARCH laughs at SARAH's misfortune.

                MARCH

   (realization)

   Wasn't John Boy supposed to give us intel?

               HEALY

   Yeah...

               MARCH

   Did he just use us for backup?

              HOLLY

   Yeah...

              MARCH

   So everything we've got is in this bag?

HEALY nods and puts the car in reverse and starts to drive off.

SHOT: SARAH stands in the middle of chaos, completely dejected. She throws her helmet across the lot.

HOLLY has second thoughts.

               HOLLY

   Turn the car around.

HEALY pulls up alongside SARAH, and HOLLY cranks down her window.

               HOLLY

   Sarah? I'm not here to give you your bag, but I do have a job offer for you.

               SARAH

   Shoot.

               HOLLY

   How would you feel being the secretary for a detective agency in California? The pay is sporadic, but I think you'd make it work somehow.

               SARAH

   Sure, why the fuck not. I'm done with Detroit.

SARAH enters the car, much to MARCH and HEALY's chagrin.

SHOT: We see the grill of the car as HEALY reverses the car out of the lot once more.

           FLASHFORWARD:

ONE YEAR LATER

INT. MARCH’S ROOM – MORNING

 

               MARCH (NARRATION)

   Turns out Perry's apartment was filled with cassettes, but the Justice Department had seized all the evidence by the time we realized the guy was as paranoid as Nixon. Things didn't work out, but that's the PI business for ya. So we took a page from Amelia's experimental porno film book.

 

SHOT: We pan across his room. There's a framed newspaper with the headline, "BLACKWELL: ACQUITTED BUT BLACKBALLED."

SHOT: We pan to a bookshelf with various pictures: HOLLY and AUDREY at HOLLY's 18th birthday, HOLLY and MARCH at graduation, HOLLY hugging a camera shy HEALY, and finally, a slightly burnt family picture featuring MARCH, his wife, and an 8 year old HOLLY.

MARCH picks this picture up, tracing the frame with his thumb and placing it in a small box. A phone rings.

MARCH answers.

               SARAH

   Don't hangup.

MARCH hangs up.

SARAH calls again.

MARCH answers.

SHOT: Sarah's office is cluttered full of important documents with her own pictures hanging on the walls.

               SARAH

   I'll just keep calling until I can deliver the good news.

               MARCH

   You _know_ Holly's moving today.

               SARAH

   This is about Holly actually. The publishers _loved_ the book.

               MARCH

   Really? I thought it was horseshit.

               SARAH

   They do however want to make a couple changes. They told me to make _Polly_   the main character, a Nancy Drew for a new generation.

               MARCH

   That's great. Hey, what about me and Jackson?

               SARAH

   Oh, they liked you, but more as the comic relief.

               MARCH

   Comic relief? I read your last draft. How did they get 'comic relief' from that?

               SARAH

       (sarcastic)

   I have no idea, but Hal Hunt and John Hall are officially Polly Hunt's middle-aged sidekicks.

               MARCH

   I hate it. Go make me some money.

               SARAH

   Say bye to Holly for me.

SARAH hangs up on MARCH because she had better things to do.

INT. MARCH’S KITCHEN – MORNING

MARCH enters the kitchen where HOLLY and HEALY are making small talk.

MARCH looks healthy. He's sober and more shaved than usual.

               MARCH

     I'm not one for speeches, so...I'm not going to make one.

MARCH gives HOLLY the small box he'd been holding.

SHOT: Opening the box, HOLLY finds her father's wedding ring on the chain and the family picture from his room.

HOLLY's floored, and HEALY's frankly surprised he'd part with such treasures.

               MARCH

   Yeah, I didn't know how you'd want to wear it, so I kept it on the chain there.

HOLLY places the chain around her neck, rubbing the ring comfortingly.

               MARCH

   Say something, goddammit, I can't deal with silence.

MARCH starts crying hysterically. HOLLY hugs him.

               HOLLY

   It's perfect, dad.

               HEALY

   I don't think you could've gotten her a more thoughtful gift.

HEALY regrets saying anything because MARCH brings him into the group hug.

SHOT: The three of them stand in the kitchen. A family.

               MARCH

     (to HOLLY; almost talking nonsense)

   I'm gonna miss you so much.

HOLLY pulls away, knowing her dad could stand there for the rest of the day.

               HOLLY

   I'll call.

               HEALY

   And write.

               HOLLY

   And write. _And_ I'll be back for major holidays. We should get going though. Audrey wants to see the sunset in New Mexico.

HOLLY cradles the small gift box in her hands, not sure how to end the goodbye.

HEALY saves the day.

               HEALY

       (giving HOLLY one last hug)

   Good luck on your road-trip. Don't stop for hitchhikers.

               MARCH

   Promise you'll call?

HOLLY sticks out her pinky and gives MARCH a pinky promise.

HOLLY waves behind her and leaves the door open as she walks outside to the U-Haul van.

EXT. MARCH’S HOUSE – MORNING

The moving van sets off, and AUDREY waves out the window of the driver's side. HOLLY looks back in the side-view mirror.

MARCH and HEALY wave until the van is down the street.

               HEALY

   Empty nest syndrome. It's the thing where parents don't know what to do once their kids leave the house. Apparently it leads to a lot of divorces.

               MARCH

   Thinking about divorce already? You just moved in.

The two walk back toward the house.

SHOT: MARCH slaps HEALY on the back, which ends in a freeze frame.

 

           END:

 


End file.
